Alucard's Miscalculation
by DarkFonist
Summary: An attempt at humor with too much plot. Slight mention of/poking fun at Alucard x Maria.


_I think I went a bit overboard with the plot here for a humor story. Definitely not perfect, but worth posting in my opinion. Inspired by Julius leaving the Vampire Killer inside Castlevania in Aria of Sorrow.  
_

* * *

"If Castlevania has truly returned, then we we cannot sit idly by," Richter said gravely.

"This is-" he began but was interrupted by a knock on his door. The hunter stood and walked to the door, the hinges squeaking slightly as he opened it. Richter and Maria both gasped at the figure they saw.

"Alucard?!" Maria exclaimed, unable to completely mask the joy of seeing him again despite the only reason he would return.

"Belmont. My lady," Alucard nodded to each of them in turn. Richter ushered him inside and closed the door.

"You too, have noticed the signs then," Alucard said as he sat across from the others.

"We have. Has Castlevania truly risen again?" Richter replied, frowning at the obvious answer. Alucard had sought them out. That spoke for enough.

Alucard nodded. "It appears to be the work of a black sorcerer, who leads his followers from a abandoned monastery in the western forest."

"So they were responsible for this..." Maria said quietly.

"Yes. And I believe they plan to resurrect Dracula as well if they are able to obtain access to the castle itself," Alucard said calmly.

"But if we can get to them first..." Richter trailed off, leaving the obvious conclusion unstated. Alucard nodded, standing.

"Alucard, who do you think they are?" Maria asked, looking up at the half-vampire.

"I do not know. Perhaps they are remnants of Shaft's cult," Alucard mused. "But it matters little, and we waste time with idle chatter. Though they act in haste, raising Castlevania so soon after it's destruction, we cannot simply allow them to act. I will retrieve my equipment from Castlevania and then we might make a concerted attack."

"Castlevania?" Richter repeated. "Why there of all places?"

"The castle's corporeal form requires energy to summon. Placing my artifacts and equipment there would, in effect, act as a seal," Alucard said simply. Though the Vampire Killer would have been much more suitable for this purpose, Alucard did not believe it wise to request that Richter leave it behind. A situation like this simply reinforced this idea. He stood.

"If there is nothing else, I will leave at once."

"Wait, Alucard," Maria said, standing. "I wish to come as well." Alucard paused for a moment.

"There is no need. I will be able to handle the monsters and do not wish to subject you to unnecessary danger." Alucard replied. He left quickly, avoiding any of Maria's possible counters to his admittedly flimsy argument. She had survived Castlevania, after all.

* * *

The plan was not particularly complex. Alucard had placed his equipment on a ledge surrounded by old and crumbling floors. Without the Belmont family's mystic stopwatch, there would be no way for any creature of the castle to near their location.

The monsters Alucard encountered were comparably weaker than during his previous forays, likely due to the summoning of the castle but a week after its destruction. Such a hasty act seemed the product of fear or confusion, but Alucard was not one to take any threat involving his father lightly. His fists made short work of the skeletons that dared stand in his way, and in short time he had found his way to his goal.

Now he simply required a stopwatch. Turning, delivered a blow to the nearest candle. It vanished in a small burst of flame, as did all the enchanted lights found throughout the castle. Alucard paused, then realized that nothing had materialized as usual. This confused the halfbreed for a moment, before he realized his fatal miscalculation.

The Cube of Zoe. He needed it to materialize anything from the remains of the magic candles in Castlevania. And yet had he had stored it with the rest of his relics.

Alucard thought quietly for a moment, unsure of how to proceed before the only logical answer presented itself. He would have to bring Belmont to the castle and have him use the Vampire Killer to acquire a stopwatch. Clearly, this was his only option.

As out of character as it was for him, Alucard was embarrassed. And here he was, standing in front of Richter's home like some silly teenager who was trying to work up the courage to ask Maria on a date, or something. Er, something else, definitely.

Unfortunately, or possibly fortunately, as there was no way Alucard could ask Maria for help, the door opened of it's own accord, and Alucard looked up to see Richter looking at him, confused.

"Why didn't you knock?" The Belmont asked, apparently having seen the son of Dracula standing idle on his front porch. Alucard hesitated for a moment.

"Forgive me, but I require you to accompany me to Castlevania," Alucard said, his voice thankfully as level as always. Richter looked even more confused at this.

"What? Why? Didn't you already...?"

Alucard considered insisting, but reconsidered. He stepped closer to Richter, and glanced furtively to the sides as anyone would when they are about the tell another a secret. The vampire hunter might have found it amusing had it been anyone else, but with Alucard's serious demeanor he had a difficult time expecting anything but the bad.

"You must speak of this to no one." Alucard said, and Richter could only nod.

Alucard took a breath, and then concisely explained the situation to the Belmont. At first, Richter did not respond, but then as the meaning of Alucard's words sunk in, he began to smile, obviously trying not to laugh. Alucard muttered something incomprehensible to Richter and just stood there, saying nothing until Richter managed to compose himself.

"Well," Richter started, a grin on his face, but was interrupted by a female voice.

"Richter, is-" Maria began as she entered the room, noticing Alucard. "Alucard?"

Alucard avoided her gaze, choosing instead to stare at the stone beneath his feet as he tried to think of a reasonable thing to say. Richter also turned away, trying to hide his growing amusement at the silliness of the whole situation.

"What's happened? Is something wrong, Alucard?" Maria, naturally, took this as Richter originally had, assuming there was bad news of some kind. She walked up to the half-vampire, and when he refused to meet her gaze, she took his chin in her hand and turned him to her.

"'Tis nothing, my lady..." Alucard said weakly. "I simply-" At this point, Richter could avoid it no longer, and interrupted Alucard, explaining the situation in its entirety and smiling throughout. After he finished, Maria stared at the hunter in disbelief before turning to Alucard.

"You..." Maria trailed off, unable to think of anything to say.

"Look as though you're about to kiss?" Richter supplied helpfully, though the tone of his voice and wide smile indicated he was being anything but. At this, the pair separated immediately, Maria blushing hotly and Alucard, well, Richter honestly couldn't tell at all.

Alucard desperately tried to salvage the situation. "If you will not come," he began, but thankfully Richter showed him mercy.

"'Tis no trouble," Richter said, still smiling, as he stepped out onto the porch and shut the door, where Maria was still standing, saying nothing.

"It is beyond these floors," said Alucard, indicating the crumbling walkway leading to where he had stored his equipment. Richter nodded, and activated the stopwatch he held in his left hand. He felt the air freeze, and he dashed up the steps, the entire area silent but for the ticking of the clock.

_Will I not make it...?_ Richter wondered, the time nearing it's end while he still had yet half of the stairway remaining.

He heard the final tick, and felt the air around him begin to move again as he was mere steps from solid ground. Planting his foot as firmly as possible, he leaped forward and barely slid onto the platform as the stairs behind him gave way.

"Now I only need to retrieve Alucard's..." Richter started, turning to the room, before he stopped, stunned by what he saw. There were piles upon piles of money bags and gems lying haphazardly around the area. Richter had never seen this much money in his entire life, and yet here Alucard had apparently left it all here as useless.

In contrast to the mess the valuables were in, there were various suits of armor, cloaks, and weapons all aligned neatly with one another, made of every material imaginable.

"Belmont! What are you doing?" Alucard's shout broke Richter from his trance.

"My...My God, Alucard! What _is_ this?!" Richter shouted down at the half-vampire, still staring at the incredible arsenal of fighting equipment and miscellaneous merchandise before him. Such could easily fund and equip a fair-sized army several times over.

"Don't waste time! Just hand me my equipment!" At this, Richter stared at the roomful of equipment.

"Wh...Which ones?" Richter said to himself, not even sure where to begin. At least not until he saw a single set of equipment hanging on a small statue. Among other things about it, he noticed the cloak's inner color seemed to be changing magically between red and black. Not wanting to waste time, Richter grabbed the entire statue and tossed it off the edge down to Alucard.

There was a crash, followed by a muffled cry from Alucard. Perhaps Richter ought to have said something first.

"Alucard?" Richter called hesitantly. There was a period of silence, followed by some rustling sounds, before Alucard replied.

"Get me my relics, Belmont."


End file.
